She was having a good time with this anyway."Wanda, can you be in charge of the house and children while I'm gone?" No sweat, partner. I can do it blindfolded. John will just have to come over more often and get used to having someone beat him to my pussy." Wanda, you're at work. You can't talk like that." Sure, I can, I'm talking to a non-entity, so I can get away with anything. But you have to do something for me. Go get your own gun or guns. You'll need to turn in yours to me and any other equipment you may have. I noticed you pay for your own cell phone, so you won't have to turn that in. Why don't you drive your car in about five so you can leave it in the garage here where they can use it to keep it in good shape? If it comes to it, I'll drive your Mustang for you once a week, but I might get Hank to come and get it and exercise it for you while you are gone. You know all your girlfriends are going to go nuts with you gone for that long, especially your two new ones. Lisa is. If the envelopes went out, it would be immediate and final, my life would be over. If I made the movie, it would be a long, painful wait for the awful day when someone would see me on a video screen and discover the truth. I had to decide and the only reasonable choice was to delay my pain, to spare my friends and family as long as I could, and pray that I'd get lucky somehow. That no one would ever know."Okay? We're going to get started," he told me. "You're tough, right? No problem." Right," I sighed, but I did feel somewhat better.I'd calmed down and it was a strange sensation, as if all of my fear had suddenly fled with my decision, with the arrival of the inevitable. I actually relaxed and wondered if my little panic attack hadn't just exhausted my will to fight. I accepted the situation and my only real thought was to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. If that meant smiling and answering silly questions and playing the slut for a bunch of white guys, fine..
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